Living Life Deliberately

About a year ago, a talk given by Elder Jörg Klebingat, a leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, entitled "Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence". It literally has changed my life. In it he talks about how Satan will try to get good people who are striving to follow God to feel as if there is no hope and that He is not there for us. Quoting from that talk,

"Whenever the adversary cannot persuade imperfect yet striving Saints such as you to abandon your belief in a personal and loving God, he employs a vicious campaign to put as much distance as possible between you and God...he will seek access to your heart to tell you lies —lies that Heavenly Father is disappointed in you, that the Atonement is beyond your reach, that there is no point in even trying, that everyone else is better than you, that you are unworthy, and a thousand variations of that same evil theme.

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As long as you allow these voices to chisel away at your soul, you can’t approach the throne of God with real confidence...The decision to change is yours—and yours alone."

Here's a link to the entire talk ... Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence

That statement really hit, the decision to change is mine and mine alone! No one else can decide how I feel or make changes in my life. I am in control. 

The other day, I thought of a scripture, 

Matthew 6:16 - Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.  But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly. " 

 I had the thought to change the word “fast” to “go through trials” so it read,

Moreover when ye “go through trials”, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to “struggle”. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.  But thou, when thou “go through trials”, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to “struggle”, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.

That doesn't mean that when I'm struggling, I don't ask for help from trusted family, friends, clergy and/or medical professionals but that strive to live my life deliberately. There are times when the darkness starts to win and I know when to seek help.

I try to remember that I am not a victim of my circumstances. I can make plans, execute them and when an unexpected curve comes in the road, adjust and set new plans. I can do hard things and be stronger for doing them. Even when I'm not perfect (and I never am) the Lord is always there for me.