Got the T-shirt

I was discussing with some dear friends some frustrations and struggles we've had with other people. We talked about how it's easy to ascribe ulterior motives to other people's actions.  One of my friends shared that she has decided to imagine everyone she meets as wearing a T-shirt that says, "I'm doing the best that I can." No matter what they do, she tries to give them the benefit of the doubt. 

That thought has felt revolutionary to me. Pondering that thought, I've been able to give myself the gift of forgiving others who have hurt me, ask others for forgivness, as well as forgiving myself. 

Another internet meme I love is...

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. (Author unknown)

I was reminded of a story that Stephen R. Covey shared...

"I remember a mini-Paradigm Shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly -- some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. 

"The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people's papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing. 

"It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, "Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn't control them a little more?"

"The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, 'Oh, you're right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don't know what to think, and I guess they don't know how to handle it either.'

"Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn't have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man's pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. "Your wife just died? Oh, I'm so sorry. Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?" Everything changed in an instant. 

(from Stephen Covey's book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People).

One last thought, 

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.

Luciano De Crescenzo

 

 

Beating the Blahs

I had a wonderful Christmas this year. I spent time with my family, gave gifts that I'd been thoughtful over, gave and felt love. It was the best experience I've ever had at Christmas time. I'm very thankful.

Today is December 26, 2015 - the day after Christmas. The celebration is over. The "Blahs" are trying to sneak into my soul. The feelings of disheartenedness are waiting to fill my heart. I'm trying to protect myself from them. I'm going to try to build on the relationships that were strengthened this past month.  I'm hanging on to my faith in my Savior and my Father in Heaven. They love me and can send the Holy Spirit to fill my soul with hope.

Life is like that. There are joyful times, sad times and blah times. I believe that before we were born we lived in Heaven with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, our Elder brother. It was such a beautiful, joyful place, and therefore, here on this earth, our Spirits search for light. 

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland spoke about these trials of the heart and encourages us to hang on when times are hard. This speech is a classic. It has helped me immensely.

This is my after Christmas gift to you.

"Paul said to those who thought a new testimony, a personal conversion, or a spiritual baptismal experience would put them beyond trouble, “Call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions” (Hebrews 10:32; emphasis added). 

Then came this tremendous counsel, which is at the heart of my counsel to you and the title of my remarks this morning: Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. . . . . . . If any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. . . . . . . We are not of them who draw back unto perdition. [Hebrews 10:35–36, 38–39; emphasis added]

Paul said, but don’t “draw back,” he warned. Don’t panic and retreat. Don’t lose your confidence. Don’t forget how you once felt. Don’t distrust the experience you had."

To read the complete speech, click on this link...

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jeffrey-r-holland_cast-not-away-therefore-your-confidence/

Disowning Depression

Many people that have been diagnosed with a life-threatening disease describe their experience as "fighting" or "battling" the disease.  They are seen as heroes (and rightly so) as they fight to get their health and strength back.

Have you noticed how many times when someone is talking about their mental health struggles that they say, "my depression", "my anxiety", "my O.C.D.", etc.?  I've found myself saying that but recently, I've decided to eliminate that phrase from my vocabulary.  I never asked for depression or anxiety and it doesn't define me.  It's not mine. It's an unwelcome visitor that rears it's ugly head from time to time.  I want to picture myself as a warrior that fights it head on. 

I know for some people, mental illness is a daily and chronic battle with little to no relief. I applaud every person that fights these often silent battles of the heart and mind. I have great respect for these courageous warriors. 

Today, there are new weapons in the arsenal to combat mental illness. The changes in care are encouraging.  Only a few years ago, insurance companies didn't cover any expenses for those seeking treatment.  Thanks to new medications and revolutionary therapy, patients are being given new hope. 

I'm so thankful for dear family, friends and church leaders that have listened and helped to strengthen me when the dark clouds feel insurmountable. I'm also very grateful to courageous people that share their struggles and inspire the rest of us to keep on battling.  I believe there is strength in numbers.

We are strong, we are uniquely wonderful, we are WARRIORS!

One more Christmas Gift

My dear friend, Andrea, shared this Christmas thought in a church lesson a couple of weeks ago.  It's not too late to give a gift that costs no money at all.  

"This Christmas, mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again.Christmas is a celebration, and there is no celebration that compares with the realization of its true meaning—with the sudden stirring of the heart that has extended itself unselfishly in the things that matter most." ²

               ~President Howard W. Hunter, The Gifts of Christmas, Ensign 2002 

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2002/12/the-gifts-of-christmas?lang=eng

Sharp Turns Ahead

A large winter storm hit today.  It was unexpected and caused a lot of accidents. Having grown up in Northern Canada, I'm very aware of "black ice" and how deceptive a dry looking road can be.  Most people on the road were driving slower than the speed limit and being very cautious. There are always those who are in a hurry and end up causing accidents.  One of the first things I remember learning in Driver's Education was to slow down as I was turning a corner no matter what the weather conditions.  Now, it's instinctive.

It was a good reminder to me that when major changes in life come unexpectedly or they are the result of pre-planning, it's a good idea to slow down, be cautious and aware. Change, even when it's exciting and looked forward to, is challenging. It's like the basket of life that I've so carefully packed is turned over and dumped out. I can put everything back in but it will never be quite the same.  But eventually, it is often better than I had it before.

The flag of faith flies on the winds of adversity

I was driving home on a beautiful, calm, summer day. There was no wind that day, not even a breeze. I noticed the massive flag in front of a local store was hanging straight down. The thought came to my mind, that flags only fly

and display all their colors when the wind is blowing.

When life gets hard and the winds start howling, I find that my true colors shine through. There have been times that I've been surprised to discover that my faith isn't as strong as I thought I was. I've been shaken to my core when life has taken an unexpected turn.

My Heavenly Father and my Savior are always there, patiently waiting for me to turn to them. They will help me through all of life's storms.

(These flags represent my heritage.)

Turning it upside down...

There is a song I sang as a child in church known as "Smiles". The first verse is 

If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay

Simply turn it upside down and smile that frown away.

(Found in the LDS Children's Songbook.)

It's a great concept but it can be very hard to do.

I remember when I was a very young mom and was visiting with a friend who was raising eight children with her husband. Her youngest son and my daughter played together.  We'd talk about life, family, church, everything.  In the course of one of our conversations, she was mentioning how tired she was of having to do ironing.  It took her hours to press her husband's white shirts. Thank goodness for today's permanent press clothing! She then shared how she was able to change her perspective.  While she was ironing, she imagined his big strong arms and how nice he'd look in the shirts as he worked for their family.  That one thought changed a chore into a pleasure.

My husband has apologized when he sees all the laundry that he's made. I tell him that I'm grateful for laundry because it's a reminder that he's part of my life. (He also helps me do the laundry.)

I'm grateful for my family and because we live in our home together (making messes) we create opportunities to serve each other.

Here's my advice about _____ (insert relevant topic)

Throughout my life I've received and offered advice. I think we all do it. There is no question that it is all well-meaning. We've been through an experience similar to someone else or have known or watched someone else and we are eager to share the wisdom we have.
Advice is plentifully offered to....

• Recent High School Graduates

• Newlyweds

• Singles

• New Birth & Adopting Parents...and the list goes on.

Problems arise, however, when I've tried to listen to all those opinions. Not only do the opinions conflict with each other, they also conflicted with my own thoughts and feelings. I'm reminded of the Aesop fable of The Man, The Boy and The Donkey. 

A Man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: "You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?"
So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: "See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides."
So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn't gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: "Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along."
Well, the man didn't know what do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: "Aren't ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours and your hulking son?"
The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey's feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.
"That will teach you," said an old man who had followed them:

Moral of Aesops Fable: 

Try to please all, and you will please none.

Here's the advice I now offer. Listen to what people are telling you, sift it through your own filter - figure out what rings true and feels right to you, keep those golden nuggets of wisdom and throw the rest away. Next, listen to your heart. Turn to Heavenly Father and you'll be given ideas and led to people and information that work for you and your situation. Trust yourself! You are the one that has to live with the consequences. I've made mistakes along the way but I've learned from them.  I believe that each of us are stronger and smarter than we realize.

Little Known Classic Christmas Movies

Our family LOVES Christmas! We've watched a lot of Christmas movies over the years.  Here is a list of some of our very favorites...

The Nativity Story (2006)

Disney's One Magic Christmas

Miracle on 34th Street - 1947 and 1994 versions

An American Christmas Carol

A Christmas Carol - with George C. Scott

Christmas in Connecticut 1945 version

These are both more well-known but worth mentioning...

It's a Wonderful Life

White Christmas

Living Water

I've always loved the scripture where Christ offers the woman at the well "living water".  

Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.“Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: but whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life” (John 4:10, 13–14).

I was reading past journal entries tonight and read two stories that I'd forgotten about (I'm thankful for journals) and that I hadn't previously realized, illustrated the same principles.

The first was an experience my son told me after returning from a group reenactment of part of the Mormon Pioneer Trek.  I was nervous about him attending the activity. I wanted him to go but was concerned for his health. It was one of the hottest times of the year and my son gets heat stress very easily. We sent him with a hydration pack (a backpack full of water) to stave off dehydration. 

He was pulling his handcart with his "pioneer family". In between watering stations on the trail, our son quietly said, “I’m out of water”.  Multiple adult church leaders walking with the youth, ran up to him and poured water from their own canteens into his hydration pack. 

I was very touched when I heard about this story. No one asked if he wanted them to share. They saw a need and immediately filled it. He spoke quietly. If the leaders hadn't been walking close by to him, they might not have known of his need.  These leaders not only filled my son’s physical reservoir with water, they also filled his spiritual well to overflowing with living water by their loving concern for him.

The second story was one that I heard in a talk given by Truman G. Madsen (former director of the Jerusalem Center) at Women's conference, April 29, 1999.  It touched my heart. It is very thought provoking, comforting and beautiful.  Quoting from his journal...

"I close with an entry in my journal. It was in Amman, Jordan some years ago. We had just come from a parched visit to Egypt where even the native Bedouin can survive, at most, three hours without water. We had said to some of our friends, "This should remind you of the two words spoken from the cross, the only self-regarding words which are a sure sign of the loss of blood. Jesus said: 'I thirst'" (John 19:28).

That night I had a dream. I was beaten down to my hands and knees and was conscious of a burning thirst. In the illogic of dreams there was somehow a small cup filled with liquid—an unearthly liquid. It was radiant. It was delicious. It was cool. But as I lifted it to my lips it was as if two hands were placed behind me, not touching, but close to my head, and from them came a kind of throb, a comfort, a warm feeling, and then the miracle. As I drank in relief, the cup filled again and again. The more I sought to quench my thirst, the more it flowed. A wave of gratitude came over me to the Christ—for in the dream it was Christ. My impulse was to turn around, stop drinking, and thank him. But then came the sweet assurance that my drinking was His thanks—that this was what He most wanted—that this was His reward, even his glory, like a gracious hostess, who takes delight in seeing her family and guests eat heartily. I knew and I knew He knew, so I drank and drank until I was full. Only then was He gone.

Sometime later, these words in the Doctrine and Covenants leaped off the page: "For unto him that receiveth, it shall be given more abundantly, even power" (D&C 71:6). And elsewhere these words, "Yea, even more abundantly, which abundance is multiplied unto them through the manifestations of the Spirit" (D&C 70:13)."

In both experiences, my son and Brother Madsen were blessed by being willing to receive the water. It takes humility to give as well as to receive. 

Because my Savior lives, I can be filled with Living Water and by sharing the love I feel from Him, I can help to quench others thirst.

Packing my Heavenly Suitcase

Years ago, a woman, who I admire and look up to, was going through a tough time financially.  She and her family decided to go in to what they termed "production rather than consumption mode". I was very inspired by that concept.

I was reminded of a scene in the movie, "Labyrinth".  Sarah was given 13 hours by the save her baby brother from the Goblin King who has taken him. At one point in her journey, an old woman comes to her and offers her everything she could ever want. The old woman starts to pile all the gifts on to Sarah and soon Sarah is overwhelmed. The old woman wants her to forget about her brother and focus on the stuff.  Sarah quickly realizes what is happening, declares the "stuff" is all junk and continues on her search for her baby brother.

It's nice to have possessions. But, like the old adage says, don't let your possessions possess you, or in other words, don't love your stuff replace loving people, being creative, being productive, living life.

I hope that by the end of my life, I will have made a difference in other people's lives. I hope that I will have grown spiritually and emotionally. I hope that I will be able to leave my loved ones knowing that they are loved. All my "stuff", every bit of it, will stay here and will eventually crumble back into the elements of what it was made. I want my treasure to be found in my loved ones hearts.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.  ~ Matthew 6:19-21

Pushing the Rock - Author Unknown

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his strength.

     So, day after day, the man pushed and pushed against the rock with ALL his strength. Many years passed, yet the man worked from sunrise to sunset with his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing against it with ALL his might. And each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out. Feeling as if his whole day had been wasted.

     When the man began to become discouraged, Satan came and started to take advantage of the situation. He began to place thoughts into the mans weary mind by telling him, "You have been pushing against that rock for many years and it hasn't moved."

      These thoughts gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. The thoughts really grew heavy on the man and he became discouraged and disheartened.

     Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort, and that will be good enough."

     At first, the weary man planned on doing just that. But because he loved the Lord so much and didn't want to disobey Him, the man decided to make it a matter of prayer. He took his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

     "Lord," he said. "I have worked many years and very hard in Your service, putting ALL my strength against that rock as You asked of me. But after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"

     The Lord compassionately responded, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you your task was to push against that rock with ALL your might, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are calloused from constant pressure and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition, you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven't moved that rock. But your calling was to be obedient by pushing with ALL your strength and to exercise your faith and trust in MY WISDOM. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock."

I love this story. I'm grateful that the "rocks" of trials in my path have made me stronger and help me to know that I can do hard things. 

    

     

Extending my Family

I've been inspired by a dear friend who is a "step-mother". She is helping to raise her and her husband's daughter and loves her very much. The other day, she was filling out some information for school. After putting down her name and contact information, she added "Bonus Mom".  Love it!

Her story inspired me. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter, an awesome son and son-in-law or better stated, "bonus son".  Our family has not currently been blessed with grandchildren. My solution, I'm a Bonus Grandma. I have dear friends with beautiful children and I love to give them love and attention. Every child needs many people who love them. I'm happy to add my love and support to their families as well as receive it from them.

When Life Gets Stormy

During a particularly tumultuous time in my life, I received a precious answer to my prayer. I was told to "stay in the eye of the hurricane".  What is the eye of a Hurricane?  According to this article, "A hurricane is a huge storm! It can be up to 600 miles across and have strong winds spiraling inward and upward at speeds of 75 to 200 mph. The center of the storm or "eye" is the calmest part." It has only light winds and fair weather."

The problems of this world have always been swirling and they seem to be swirling increasingly faster. When I stay centered on the teachings of my Savior and follow His ordained servants, I can find peace and answers in a very troubled world. 

Letting it Go

I’ve had a hard couple of days, dealing with very unkind, inconsiderate and flat-out rude people. It felt like they all got together to dump their trash of thoughtlessness on me, all at once.

I’ve always tried to pride myself on being able to “not play ball”. I’ve visualized it as if the person that is unkind comes up to me and wants to play ball with me. The ball symbolized their anger, rudeness, etc. If I don’t catch or pick up the ball thrown at me – I don’t fight back, return rudeness or get upset – but stand there figuratively with my arms at my side, they give up, back down, feel silly even and quit throwing the ball at me.  

After numerous run-ins with these people in a very short time, I was feeling very weary and found it hard to “let it go”.  I had contentious dreams last night and woke realizing that I had held onto the  ball that had been thrown at me.

I had an interesting thought. I could see myself holding this ball and realized how heavy it was weighing on me. I imagined myself in water and knew that the weight of the ball was drowning me. I felt that as I ask my Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ, to help me let go of the hurt and stress, I’ll feel much better, be able to realize the weight and rise to breathe above the water.

Drowning in hurt is not fun. I’m working on getting rid of the heaviness that weighs me down.

Angels Carry Umbrellas

I was at a church picnic at an outside pavilion.  I was heading home when torrential rain started pouring down.  I offered my friend, a ride home with our family and we made a mad dash for the car. We were running hard and realized that we weren’t getting very wet. We turned around and realized that another friend was running alongside us (she hadn’t said a word) and holding up an umbrella.

A few days later, I was driving and I was thinking about her kindness. I realized that many times we are drowning in sadness and we don’t realize that Heavenly and often Earthly Angels have been sent with umbrellas. We focus on the rain, the wind, the darkness so much that we don’t realize that we aren’t as drenched as we should be. I’m grateful for earthly and Heavenly Angels with Umbrellas.

My Pick-Me-Up Playlist

These are a few of my go-to songs that make me HAPPY!  I don't usually watch the videos, just enjoy the songs...

Happy - Pharrell Williams - You Tube

Firework - Katy Perry

Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

Sky of Full Stars - Coldplay

I'm on Top of the World - Imagine Dragons

Owl City - Fireflies

Something to Believe In - Parachute

The Climb - Hannah Montana Soundtrack

Fairy Dust Optional

“So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!” 
 --J.M. Barrie ~ Peter Pan

I'd been noticing that I have allowing my thoughts to run away with themselves and they weren't going to happy places. Here's the general idea...I'm home alone and hear a noise I don't recognize. Is there someone trying to break in the house? What would I do if they got in?...and so on and so on.

I decided that as part of living my life deliberately, I would work on being in charge of my thoughts. For example, if I heard a noise, I decided to imagine that someone was leaving a gift for our family on the doorstep (that has happened before so it wasn't far fetched).

I knew I was starting to make it a habit when I had a bad dream the other night. In my dream, I was at my church building, helping other church members clean up a huge mess. They all had to go to other parts of the building for various reasons and I was left in the room. A man walked in the room and I knew he was going to hurt me. I made the conscious decision while still dreaming to change the story. I decided that he was nice. He then looked at me and said, "You're tired. Sit on this chair and I'll clean up the mess." I've worked for a long time to get to the point where I can change my dreams. It doesn't always work but I'm trying.

I talked to a dear friend who is a Psychologist and she told me that this is part of a psychotherapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I've got some research to do :-)

Living Life Deliberately

About a year ago, a talk given by Elder Jörg Klebingat, a leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, entitled "Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence". It literally has changed my life. In it he talks about how Satan will try to get good people who are striving to follow God to feel as if there is no hope and that He is not there for us. Quoting from that talk,

"Whenever the adversary cannot persuade imperfect yet striving Saints such as you to abandon your belief in a personal and loving God, he employs a vicious campaign to put as much distance as possible between you and God...he will seek access to your heart to tell you lies —lies that Heavenly Father is disappointed in you, that the Atonement is beyond your reach, that there is no point in even trying, that everyone else is better than you, that you are unworthy, and a thousand variations of that same evil theme.

Add caption

As long as you allow these voices to chisel away at your soul, you can’t approach the throne of God with real confidence...The decision to change is yours—and yours alone."

Here's a link to the entire talk ... Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence

That statement really hit, the decision to change is mine and mine alone! No one else can decide how I feel or make changes in my life. I am in control. 

The other day, I thought of a scripture, 

Matthew 6:16 - Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.  But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly. " 

 I had the thought to change the word “fast” to “go through trials” so it read,

Moreover when ye “go through trials”, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to “struggle”. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.  But thou, when thou “go through trials”, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to “struggle”, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.

That doesn't mean that when I'm struggling, I don't ask for help from trusted family, friends, clergy and/or medical professionals but that strive to live my life deliberately. There are times when the darkness starts to win and I know when to seek help.

I try to remember that I am not a victim of my circumstances. I can make plans, execute them and when an unexpected curve comes in the road, adjust and set new plans. I can do hard things and be stronger for doing them. Even when I'm not perfect (and I never am) the Lord is always there for me. 

Go-To List when Anxiety Attacks

When Anxiety is overwhelming… what works for me….

Spiritual

·        Pray and keep praying; listen for answers

·        Read or listen to scriptures and sermons by my Church Leaders 

·        Attend Church 

·        Work on letting go for fear/shame, doubt and jealousy; instead seek Faith, Hope and Charity

    

Physical

·        Sunlight, get outside and go for a walk or for a drive

·        Niacin - it is a B vitamin that makes you happy J 

·        Eat healthy meals and exercise

·        Take a bath 

Emotional

·        Distraction – do something to get my mind off of the anxiety

·        Put on a good movie to let it out and cry

·        Talk to, email or text your dearest, trusted friends

·        Spend time with friends

·        Listen to music that makes me happy

·        Be honest with feelings and deal with them; don’t tell myself that I’m okay when I’m not; don’t let them build to a crisis

·        Be patient with myself, this too will pass, it has passed before





      

Forgiving like a Child

I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness as of late. The rules seem to change as we get older. As kids, we'd be screaming at each other one moment and the soon afterwards, we'd forgotten about it and were best friends. Somehow, as I got older, it felt like the hurts were 'different' and as an adult I seemed to think I had greater justification for staying angry.  I'm not sure why that is but I decided to work on forgiving; myself included. 

"Resentment is like drinking poison 

and waiting for the other person to die."  

Author Unknown

Matthew 18:3-4 ...Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

The Refiners Fire

I've seen this story many times on the internet but have yet to find the author.  I looked up and added scriptures to go along with the thoughts in this story.  It is a good reminder to me to remember that the Lord is in charge.

Purifier of Silver (Malachi 3:3) Author Unknown

There was a group of women in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three, they came across verse three, which says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study.

That week this woman called up a silver smith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silver smith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse, that he sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding thesilver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver were left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.  (1 Peter 1:7  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ)

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silver smith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy--when I see my image in it."  (Alma 5:14, 19   And now behold, I ask of you my brethern of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God?  Have ye received his image in your countenances?  Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?  I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands?  I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?")

(Psalms 12:6 "The words of the Lord are pure words:  as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.")

(Psalms 66:10  "For thou, O God, hast proved us: thou hast tried us, as silver is tried.")

(Doctrine & Covenants128:24  "Behold, the great day of the Lord is at hand; and who can abide the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appeareth?  For he is like a refiner's fire, and like fuller's soap: and he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he shall purify the son's of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness. Let us, therefore, as a church and a people, and as Latter-Day Saints offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness; and let us present in his holy temple, when it is finished, a book containing the records of our dead, which shall be worthy of all acceptation.")

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that you are in God's hand, He has His eye on you, and He will keep holding you and watching you until He sees His image in you.